How to Make Big Life Decisions Without Regret

Big life decisions don’t come with roadmaps. Whether you’re changing careers, moving cities, ending a relationship, or considering something wildly outside your comfort zone — like entering a Surf Life Saving home lottery and dreaming of a completely new lifestyle — you’re faced with a mix of hope, fear, and about a dozen what-ifs.

It’s tempting to delay these choices until the “perfect” answer appears. But in reality, big decisions are rarely black and white — and waiting for total certainty can lead to missed opportunities, quiet resentment, or a life that feels more default than designed.

So how do you move forward with confidence? How do you make choices that you won’t look back on with regret?

Here’s how to approach the process with clarity, calm, and courage.

Start With This Question: What Do I Want to Feel?

We often make decisions based on outcomes — the salary, the location, the status. But those things are just vehicles. The real goal is how we want to feel on the other side of the decision.

Do you want to feel more freedom? Stability? Excitement? Peace?

Start with the feeling. Then ask: Which option is most likely to move me in that direction, even if it’s a little scary?

This perspective grounds your decision in values — not just logistics — and helps you stay aligned with what actually matters to you.

Let Go of the Myth of the Perfect Choice

We tend to believe that if we just think hard enough or gather enough advice, the “right” choice will reveal itself like a flashing neon sign. But most big decisions don’t work like that.

There’s rarely one perfect path. There’s just the next step that feels most honest — followed by the next one, and the next.

Give yourself permission to make the best decision with the information you have now, instead of chasing a nonexistent perfect one. It’s better to move forward with imperfect clarity than to stay stuck waiting forever.

Try the “10-10-10” Test

This framework, made popular by author Suzy Welch, is simple but powerful.

When faced with a tough decision, ask:

• How will I feel about this in 10 minutes?
• How will I feel about this in 10 months?
• How will I feel about this in 10 years?

This approach pulls you out of the short-term emotions (like anxiety or pressure) and reminds you of the bigger picture. It helps you prioritize long-term meaning over short-term discomfort.

Make Space for Quiet (Not Just Noise)

Big decisions don’t get clearer in the middle of chaos. We often think we’re “processing” when we’re really just spinning — asking for more opinions, Googling endlessly, filling every spare moment with distraction.

Instead, create quiet.

Take a walk without your phone. Sit somewhere still. Journal without editing yourself. Get away for a weekend if you can.

The answer you’re looking for is more likely to show up in silence than in noise.

Don’t Crowdsource Your Life

Advice is helpful — until it isn’t. While loved ones may mean well, they’re not living your life. They don’t carry your values, your intuition, your inner knowing.

If you find yourself more confused after asking for feedback, take a step back and ask:

• Who actually understands what I’m trying to build?
• Who is projecting their own fears onto my decision?
• Whose voice matters most — mine or theirs?

The best decisions often come from inside. Use others for support, but trust yourself to choose.

Ask the Braver Question: “What Will I Regret Not Doing?”

Fear is a loud voice in decision-making — but it’s not always truthful. One way to break its grip is to flip the script.

Instead of only asking, “What if this goes wrong?” ask:

• What will I regret not doing?
• What’s the cost of staying the same?
• What would I do if I believed in myself just a little more?

Regret doesn’t come from taking a shot and missing. It comes from never taking the shot at all.

Give Yourself a Safe “Trial” Window

Not every decision has to be final. If possible, build in a test phase:

• Try the new schedule for a month before committing
• Rent in the new city before buying
• Shadow someone in the job you’re considering
• Take a class or do a part-time version before you leap

This reduces pressure and gives you real-world clarity — not just hypothetical “what-ifs.”

You Don’t Have to Be 100% Sure — Just Sure Enough

Here’s the truth: even the most thoughtful decisions will carry some uncertainty. That’s part of being human. But you don’t need 100% certainty. You just need to be sure enough to take the first step — and then trust yourself to handle what comes next.

You are allowed to want more. To change your mind. To take a risk. To say yes to something even if your voice shakes. Every big decision is a chance to move closer to the life you want — not the one you settled for. You might not know exactly how it will unfold. You might not have every answer. But if you can get quiet, ask better questions, and listen to the version of you that wants more, you’ll be surprised how regret rarely shows up for those who choose their life instead of drifting through it.